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Well I’ve gone and done it. If you follow me on Facebook this won’t be news to you, but the emotions behind it and the story itself, may be. I will keep you guessing for a few more seconds, unless of course you’re a ‘jump aheader’ like I am and you’ve already looked at the pictures. I’m going to go into the how I feel/felt about what I did and I will post updates later on my experiences with the public and friends. What did I do… I shaved my head down to a short buzz cut. Why? Several reasons really, but the main decision in doing it was for my Mom or Fama as I will call her from here on out.

My Fama has Stage 4 Lung Cancer and by the second round of Chemo her hair was falling out in handfuls. To give you a taste of the horror she felt: she is a woman that spent a lot of money on her hair, constantly having it trimmed, playing with it in the mirror, etc., to feeling something strange around your ankles and feet in the shower to look down in shear terror to see a mound of hair. Looking in the mirror daily or hourly to see what was left and to finally have to make a heart breaking decision to go to your friend, that owns a hair salon, and ask her to buzz it all off.
I will admit my Fama is a vain women about her appearance. To her defense it was partially due to her upbringing and then was also a result of her owning a business in insurance, that was back in the day to be a man run/owned field of business. The upbringing was deep south, Georgia and Alabama and I don’t need to explain any of that, most understand immediately.
So as you can see, the hair loss for my Fama was like loosing a very large part of who she has believed herself to be. I knew the hair loss would happen and knew there would be nothing I could do to stop it, the only thing I could do is support her, but how? How do you support something like that? Yes I could tell her how awesome she looks and it is no where near as bad as she thinks it is. She does look awesome by the way.

So I set my mind in motion and started thinking of what it is I could do, which my inner children had already decided on. How could I shave my head? I’m the girl that went to school dances, dancing with a brush in my hand in case my hair was messed up. I literally did not leave the house without a brush or comb. My hair has not been shorter than mid back since I was 12. I’ve had the same hairstyle since I was in 6th grade! Except for the occasional perm, which I always swore to never do again, I believe I’ve had three total in my life, the last one being in 94′ when I was married. I wanted something easy for swimming in the ocean.
The other thing my own vanity has chased me around with is my grey streaks. I have always wanted grey streaks framing my face, and I had them!!! They grew naturally EXACTLY where I wanted them. How could I give those up!!

How could ‘I’ shave my head willingly?! I let my mind mill over the idea, and yes, my inner children had already decided it was to be done. The more I became comfortable with the idea the more free’er I felt. My inhibitions were falling away slowly. Think of how quick a shower would be! On the weekends I dreaded having to get up and take a shower due to how long it took to wash and condition, then get out and have to blow dry my hair. The makeup part doesn’t take long, mascara only, so my hair was always the ordeal. What about having bed head and having someone come to the door? I have a glass front house, there is no hiding from them.
Oh and hats!! I couldn’t wear hats. My hair was/is baby fine and does not look good with hats. It gets smooshed down and then my bangs were an issue. I want to wear hats and can/have to now for sun protection. Woooo Hooo!
It was decided… I’m shaving my head!! I literally came to this conclusion very quickly, and only days ago. I friend of mine had posted on FB May 21st that she was going to cut her hair at the Relay for Life Celebration. She is also very attached to her hair, so she is only getting it cut short, not a buzz cut and her Dad, that is the Cancer survivor, will be doing the honors of cutting her ponytail. The Relay is on June 1st and since I wouldn’t be here, but instead in Portland, I had to set the ball in motion fast. I got a hold of Cindy Powell, that organized the Relay event, and asked which Beauty Salon was donating their services and how to go about getting the hair to her for donation. The planets truly aligned… Cindy is also a friend of mine so she was willing to meet me at the Salon to get the hair. Also, the Salon donated their services to me, even though I was going to their Salon and taking up a paying customers chair time! I have to thank Trina at the Beauty Room for her services. Although she was getting choked up at first over why I was doing it, she came through like a trooper and did an awesome job!!
My hair is being donated to Pantene Beautiful Lengths which is partnered with American Cancer Society to make and donate free wigs to women with Cancer.
I ask that if you are going to donate your hair and you want it to go to someone with Cancer to be given as a free wig, please donate to Pantene, or do your research on who you are donating to. I won’t mention their name but the other ‘well known’ place that people donate to does not donate their wigs, instead they charge, and very few if any go to Cancer patients.

So the decision was made, the hair was cut. I wasn’t nervous until I sat my butt in the chair and knew it was going to happen. I wasn’t nervous enough to run out screaming, I had just enough of the ‘what the hell will my head look like?’ or ‘Am I going to look like a man?’ or ‘how cold is my head going to get?’
What do I think now? Oh my word!! It is awesome! No muss no fuss. I did use too much shampoo and conditioner yesterday, I came home and took a shower due to all the little prickly hairs being everywhere. I didn’t know what to do after I got out of the shower. I will admit I have found myself going to sweep my hair back, out of habit, and when I put my shirt on after the shower I instantly went to pull my hair out from under my shirt. LOL!

I will post more as I meet people or see how people react in public. I’m sure I will tell more on Facebook, so if you want to follow the bouncing ball, come over and friend me.

Now for some pictures:

First picture is of the pigtails that were being put all over so that we could get the max amount of hair. The second picture is washing the prickly hairs away so she can neat’n up and trim.

Pigtails before cut

Washing away the prickly hairs

Now for the video of the whole process 😀

4 Responses to “Huge change…”

  • cindy p MonsterID Icon cindy p:

    Candy, I really do enjoy your blog, but this one really brought tears to my eyes. Here! Here! Well said! I am truly honored to have been a part of your story and can never thank you enough as I too am a survivor and it’s people like you who make a difference in someone’s recovery. I pray for your mom and hope that she grows to love ur buzz cut =) =) =)

  • Thank you Miss Cindy! I am so glad you were there to keep everything fun. Keep fighting the fight and a huge THANK YOU for donating your time to help others that are fighting with the evil little Cancer battle.

  • cindy p MonsterID Icon cindy p:

    We’re gonna kick cancer’s ass!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Lisa MonsterID Icon Lisa:

    That’s beautiful! Thoughts & prayers to your Fama and Kudos to you! And you look great, too!

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