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It’s an actual question to myself…where have I been? Why have I not gotten in the swing of things and blogged more? Why don’t I surf for Halloween and Spooky goodness online instead of wasting my time on Facebook, playing Farmville? Why don’t I spend more time in the Skullery?

I honestly can’t answer any of those questions.  I have been lurking online, besides playing Farmville, which I actually only play once/twice a day and for a short time. I lurk on all of the other blogger’s sites trying to find some flame to stick under my butt to get me going. So many are creating wonderful things that instead of feeling inspired I started to feel over whelmed.
I push myself way to hard and expect the moon of myself. Instead of that being a good thing it makes me shut down instead. I start new projects, leaving others to collect dust, which then makes me feel like I’m not succeeding at anything.

I know that part of my problem is seeing so many artists that do art full time, it is their life, and then I try to make self be able to create as much as they do. Ummm… self, your forgetting one key thing here. You work for a living being a Computer tech, 8 hours of your day is spent away at work, then there is roughly 8 hours of sleep,  another 2 of that is prep time for either work or driving to it. That leaves roughly 6 hours which we can take about 2 for eating dinner and dinner prep, now I’m down to 4. Four hours left in the day to do something all on my own…the dogs get some of that, and I get the rest. What do I do? I relax and typically do nothing, why? I feel tired from work and then feel like I let myself down because I didn’t use up 2 hours in the Skullery.

I have got to reconfigure how I think of things. Obviously work is not something I can change…actually, there is something I can do but it would take them finally hiring a third person in our department. Once I’m able I’m going to work four 10 hour days, that will give me three days off to do what I wish with. But…until that happens, and it is out of my control, I need to rethink/reconfigure how I do things.
I have to start with forgiving myself for those days I do nothing. If they happen often enough then I can start kicking myself in the self to get me motivated. Down time is always much needed but too much of it is just laziness, which I have had an over abundance of in my life.

I have got to ease up on the self. This isn’t a competition… and if it is, who exactly am I competing with?

*This post was brought to you by Brain. Brain, although good natured, can be a bit over stimulated at times. Self just tries to keep up and roll with the coaster.

8 Responses to “Where have I been?”

  • I identify entirely. I work in high-tech, sometimes 60 hours a week. It can be really hard to do meaningful work in the gaps between. Sometimes the trick is to just find an the right project. Other times, bleah.

    BTW, tell Brain to get lost. Do what your heart tells you. That or your galblader… sometimes they can be really insightful too…

  • I’ve had the stint with Gallbladder myself… evil little bastard of an organ. Funny thing is, when I had my gallbladder attacks, the doctors couldn’t figure out why. It all went away on it’s own after I changed my diet, for a few months, to 7 grams or less of fat a day.

    There are many a time that I do tell Brain to get lost. Problem is, it goes away an Self gets a bit concerned. Viscous cycle having to balance the two. Heart just sits quietly and watches the show, maybe I need to have a chat with Heart and tell it to show its ass every once in a while. We all know what happens when Heart gets upset…not a pretty site, normally there consists of things being thrown.

    Thanks Joe!

  • Ann Allen MonsterID Icon Ann Allen:

    And such is life for those who have to work a day job. I do it and I have days where I look at the clock and say “How the hell did I just lose 4 hours and how could it possibly be bedtime I just got home.” On weekends I feel like I am always trying to hurry up and make up for all the stuff I didn’t get done during the week. When I tell my Brain to be quiet I get into trouble by forgetting to do something that is usually important, so I allow the brain to participate in my fun with a gag or some duct tape it falls off eventually and brain is back to tell me what to do.

  • Tam MonsterID Icon Tam:

    I struggle with this dilemma also. I on’t even work so i beat myself up more! I do have the finacial problem though, no money to buy what i need to create. But being creative I can find things around here to make things, just not always the things i want tomake, but at least i am keeping the creative juice flowing…….then there is the kids and keeping up ont he house and so on. But with them older thats now so bad anymore either (except the keeping up ont he hosue part, they still pigs ha ha) I too get the “overwhelmed” feeling. I have so many things i want to do and cant decide where to start. I only have certain amount to spend on it so want to choose wisely and sometimes put it off and off in the chooseing stage. I been doing little better though and did start painting, finished my first oil painting (see it on FB) and almost done with my 2nd painting. Oh and my 2nd one reminds me of u for some reason, u will see when i post it tonight or tomorrow after I finish lol I have a space issue also, no where to work properly and that overwhelms me trying to squeeze in here and there between where the kids r doing their honmework ect. Right now iam painging ont he floor in a small corner of my bedroom. i so need a bigger home, but what can ya do? lol Where there is a desire there is a solution, u will figure it out!! Oh and the blogging stuff, i KNOW I use to blog like crazy u know that! Now nada! I need to set up a blogging place and try my hand at that again, doesnt need space or money so dont knwo what my excuse it……

  • I hear you my dear. I hate that my work has me working at least 50+ hours a week right now. Not a good time for me. I rather be at home making something!!

    And just an FYI to anyone’s haunt that gets as large as DG – just managing making it happen…eats up a lot of time.

    I recently finally took some time to make something that I wanted to. It was quite liberating…but I can see the amount of energy it is going to take to keep doing that. I have gotten to the point now that I put project (and creating my Etsy store) time on my calendar. I also put my chores on there too so that I get things done without them all running together.

    Sorta works…..not very inspired creative…but for this time of year for me it will have to do.

    I think the techy thing also makes it hard, like mumblyjoe said, husband is in computers and I manage a marketing department, which has me in front of a computer all day. Switching gears is easier some days than others.

    BTW – gallbladders are evil….mine likes to pitch a fit every so often. And I have found that my heart and my brain, although not always compatible make better friends then enemies. If I spend too much time on one the other gets jealous….and that fight usually completely shuts down everything and I just want to veg in front of the TV. So I really try to keep them on speaking terms 😀

    Hope the creativity gets flowing for you again. Cause you make amazing stuff and we all need more amazing stuff!

    Cheers!

  • I love you guys! I don’t feel so alone now and a tad less insane. Heh!

  • Dave the Dead MonsterID Icon Dave the Dead:

    Do what feels good. You can’t go wrong that way. If you want to take a day or two off, then do it and stop feeling guilty about it. If you want to spend a night in the skullery, then spend a night in the skullery. Quit giving yourself guilt trips about finishing or not finishing a project. Have fun with whatever you feel like working on at the time, and before you know it you will have some sort of mojo happening in that skullery of yours. When you get something started, share your progress, enjoy the comments, and start feeling good about being creative.

    No more excuses…Show us all what spookiness is all about!

  • Everyone’s touched on the important points, and you’ve realized a lot of the answers on your own in this post.

    Here’s a couple more:

    1) Stop looking at what others are doing in comparison to what you’re getting done.

    2) Finish one of the multiple projects you have on the go. It will make you feel better.

    3) Combine your rest time with smaller project time. On nights I’m wiped and just want to watch a movie, I often work on projects as well. If I’m too tired to sit over the coffee table, I pick something that will allow me to curl up on the couch and have the project in my lap.

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