It’s an actual question to myself…where have I been? Why have I not gotten in the swing of things and blogged more? Why don’t I surf for Halloween and Spooky goodness online instead of wasting my time on Facebook, playing Farmville? Why don’t I spend more time in the Skullery?
I honestly can’t answer any of those questions. I have been lurking online, besides playing Farmville, which I actually only play once/twice a day and for a short time. I lurk on all of the other blogger’s sites trying to find some flame to stick under my butt to get me going. So many are creating wonderful things that instead of feeling inspired I started to feel over whelmed.
I push myself way to hard and expect the moon of myself. Instead of that being a good thing it makes me shut down instead. I start new projects, leaving others to collect dust, which then makes me feel like I’m not succeeding at anything.
I know that part of my problem is seeing so many artists that do art full time, it is their life, and then I try to make self be able to create as much as they do. Ummm… self, your forgetting one key thing here. You work for a living being a Computer tech, 8 hours of your day is spent away at work, then there is roughly 8 hours of sleep, another 2 of that is prep time for either work or driving to it. That leaves roughly 6 hours which we can take about 2 for eating dinner and dinner prep, now I’m down to 4. Four hours left in the day to do something all on my own…the dogs get some of that, and I get the rest. What do I do? I relax and typically do nothing, why? I feel tired from work and then feel like I let myself down because I didn’t use up 2 hours in the Skullery.
I have got to reconfigure how I think of things. Obviously work is not something I can change…actually, there is something I can do but it would take them finally hiring a third person in our department. Once I’m able I’m going to work four 10 hour days, that will give me three days off to do what I wish with. But…until that happens, and it is out of my control, I need to rethink/reconfigure how I do things.
I have to start with forgiving myself for those days I do nothing. If they happen often enough then I can start kicking myself in the self to get me motivated. Down time is always much needed but too much of it is just laziness, which I have had an over abundance of in my life.
I have got to ease up on the self. This isn’t a competition… and if it is, who exactly am I competing with?
*This post was brought to you by Brain. Brain, although good natured, can be a bit over stimulated at times. Self just tries to keep up and roll with the coaster.